Cries & Whispers, a movie by Ingmar Bergman, would have been a good one for Mystery Science Theater 3000 to take up. After all, if this movie is going to have characters stand around not saying very much, and then have them sit around not saying very much, and then have one of them lie in bed dying of cancer and not saying very much, and then have two women talk to each other without giving us the benefit of hearing what they are saying, the MST3K team might just as well have supplied some dialogue and commentary.

I can just imagine Joel Robinson, Crow T. Robot, and Tom Servo giving us the benefit of their riffing.

Two sisters seem to have a thing for each other.

[Joel:  Lesbian incest!  My favorite.]

A man plunges a dagger with a six-inch blade into his abdomen because his wife has humiliated him by having sex with another man.  Then, with the blade still in his gut, he asks his wife to help him.

[Crow:  “Could you give me a hand, Dear?  I’m stuck.”]

A woman tells her maid to quit looking at her just before she gets completely naked while her maid looks at her.

[Tom Servo:  “She’s just begging me to watch.”]

The maid gets half naked, gets in bed with the cancer victim, and holds her head to her breasts.

[Joel:  But she doesn’t do windows.]

A woman picks up a piece of broken glass and shoves it up her vagina.  Then she goes into the bedroom, gets in bed, raises her nightgown, spreads her legs wide open so her husband can view the bloody vulva, while she smears blood all over her smiling face.

[Crow:  “You don’t mind making love to me while I’m having my period, do you?”]

It would be just another fun-filled episode on the Satellite of Love.